


i'm not your boy i'm not your world

by meathermac



Category: Not Another D&D Podcast (Podcast)
Genre: DMily Campaign, First Kiss, Hot Boy Summer, M/M, The Bon Freres, episode three once again said carmac rights!!!!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-28
Updated: 2020-08-28
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:54:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26152990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meathermac/pseuds/meathermac
Summary: maybe holding hands with your boy means something after all.
Relationships: Carl/Cormac "Mac" Darkstout
Comments: 5
Kudos: 29





	i'm not your boy i'm not your world

**Author's Note:**

  * For [KLStarre](https://archiveofourown.org/users/KLStarre/gifts).



> shoutout to the naddcord (and carmac anon) for encouraging me to write this!!! love me some soft boys
> 
> thanks to kes for reading it!!! title from fluteloops' "(bro)ken bones"

Friendship is complicated, Mac thinks, and he’s not sure whether or not that’s because his friends are complicated people or because it just  _ is _ . 

It’s both, probably.

He’s been in love with Carl since he was a lot younger than he is now, but he didn’t always know it was  _ love _ \--after all, the closest friendships look an awful lot like love when you’re not paying attention. 

He knew they were friends, he knew they were close, he knew that he meant a lot to him--but all of the boys meant a lot to him, so how was Mac supposed to tell the difference between a best friend and someone you wanted to spend the rest of your life with?

No one enjoys thinking about being in love with your best friend. No one likes the uncertainty and the constant hanging fear of ruining it all just because you wanted--no,  _ needed _ something more. 

They’re sharing a room right now, which is  _ stupid _ because they don’t need to. Mac could have slept on the couch or shared a room with Tred, but Tred said Mavrus needed to share a room with him and Hungry Dave gets his own room and even though it’s Carl’s aunt’s house, he offered to share a room with Mac. 

So what the  _ fuck _ does that mean? 

Well--nothing. It means nothing. It means they’re sharing a room at a beach house in the middle of summer. 

Mac doesn’t really unpack (he barely brought any clothes) and just stares out the window at the beach, aimlessly chatting with Carl who offers short responses in return. The rest of the boys are being loud and doing something stupid--Mavrus and Tred are yelling, Hungry Dave is mediating, so Mac offers Carl a flask of his coffee stout.

It’s so strange, being in love with your best friend. 

\--

Mavrus and Tred are known for whatever on-again-off-again thing they have going on because they keep pretending like it’s a secret and that no one can ever know they’re together (or not together, depending on the week). 

In some weird way, Mac’s grateful for their dramatic relationship. It’s so deeply  _ Tred _ and so deeply  _ Mavrus _ that it’s comforting, but it also pulls everyone’s attention away from him; it means that when he grabs Carl’s hand for comfort in the middle of the day when he’s feeling stressed he doesn’t need to worry about being seen, it means that he’s never the center of attention unless he wants to be. 

He starts to wonder whether or not the fact that Carl will  _ always _ hold his hand means something, or if it just means that Carl really is just that solid.

Mac is sitting on the porch with Carl one afternoon while the rest of the boys play frisbee with Dave’s exploding frisbees (they all know it’s a bad idea) when he says, “You’re holding this fuckin’ group together, dude.” 

Carl just laughs. “I’m not. I have a little bit more common sense than you guys, but I figure you wouldn’t die without me.” 

“I’m gonna die without you, bro. I can’t believe you and Mav are gonna go to school and leave the three of us alone.”

He taps his fingers against the deck railing, smiling slightly. “I believe in you, Mac. You’re a good dude. You’ll keep Tred and Dave from going too far.” 

Mac grins, looking up at Carl. “You have no idea how much that means to me.”

Carl puts an arm around Mac’s shoulders and sighs. “Sure I do, Mac. You mean so fuckin’ much to me, dude.” 

“What if you and Mavrus didn’t go to school at the end of the summer?” he suggests, and they just laugh. “I’m serious. Let’s just live here on the beach forever.”

“That’d be awesome, Mac,” he says, taking hold of Mac’s hand. “But like, we gotta go to school.”

He groans, leaning into Carl. “You don’t have to. You could just stay here.” 

They laugh loudly before resting their head on top of Mac’s. “I’d love to, honestly.” 

The two of them are silent for a little while as they watch a frisbee explode in Mavrus’s face and it’s comfortable; Carl’s embrace is the perfect kind of warmth because even though it’s hot out he doesn’t feel like he’s overheating--it’s a soft kind of warm, and that doesn’t even make sense to  _ him,  _ but it just feels.... right.

A thought occurs to him as he leans against Carl, watching the boys scream and chase each other around the beach. “Can I ask you something, dude?”

“Of course.” 

“Are we dating?” Mac asks, and they just laugh. “Carl, I’m serious.” 

He looks down at him, one eyebrow raised. “Do you want to be?”

“I  _ mean _ , I don’t know, dude, I didn’t think I’d get this far, I just thought you were gonna laugh at me and say no and then probably make fun of me cause I’m like, in love with one of my bros--” 

“I love you too, Mac,” they say quietly, and Mac stops short. “Do you want to be dating?”

Mac blushes, staring directly out at the ocean and not making any sort of eye contact with Carl. “I wouldn’t  _ mind. _ ”

He squeezes his hand and smiles. “Then we’re dating. Can I kiss you?”

“Do you think the boys will notice?” he asks, a little nervous. Carl looks out to the beach, where Mavrus has stolen Tred’s guitar and is currently standing on top of a rock yelling something incomprehensible, then turns back to Mac and gives him a look. “Okay, so, no, they won’t notice,” Mac says, staring down at the ground, “So, uh, yeah, I guess.” 

Carl leans down and kisses Mac softly, and they smile into the kiss, tangling their fingers in Mac’s curls. 

It’s hard to say just  _ how _ long Mac’s been dreaming about this, but gods, it’s worth it for the real goddamn thing. 

(Needless to say, the boys don’t notice.)

**Author's Note:**

> lichen, commerce, and scribble, or leave a comment or kudos if you enjoyed!!
> 
> hit me up on tumblr [@maple-keenes] or twitter [@maplekeenes] if you wanna talk!!!


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